There’s so much news lately about women breastfeeding in public and people being shocked and offended by it. I really feel the need to perform sort of a public service to let people know that there are several breastfeeding cover-ups out there that will make everyone around you more comfortable.
It’s very awkward and uncomfortable to be breastfeeding and have some people stare at you and give you dirty looks. This is why I have taken the time to round up some of the most effective covers I could find, that will make the experience of breastfeeding in public more comfortable for everyone.
1. The Basic
Look at this! No fancy material, no excessive heat – you are totally in control of what you see. Not leering at a breastfeeding woman has never been easier!
2. The Fancy
I’m so fancy! You already kno-ow – your boobs are so distracting, I can’t get my laundry done. Hummed to Iggy Azalea’s Fancy, obviously.
3. The Nap
Kill two birds with one stone; hide your offended eyes and catch a few Z’s. Being offended for no reason has never been more relaxing.
4. The Disposable
Don’t you hate it when you are at a restaurant trying to eat in peace and someone across the room or at a neighboring table has the NERVE to feed her hungry infant? How can you enjoy your meal while that is going on? Carry around one of these disposable breastfeeding cover-ups (aka masking tape) and eat your meal undisturbed – as nature intended.
5. The Tie
Nothing passive aggressively says, “I’m pissed” quite like disrobing in front of a breastfeeding mother and using your own accessory to shield your eyes from her offending boobs. I also recommend making this face.
6. The Boobs
Fight fire with fire, AM I RIGHT? Next time your delicate constitution is shocked by the site of a breastfeeding mother, just whip out of these boobie blindfolds and give her a taste of her own medicine. She probably won’t be offended, but you get boobs on your face — and since you’re so obsessed with them it’s kinda perfect.
7. The Pashmina
You have boobs and you even used them for feeding your children – but you are still offended by the site of a mother doing the same. Whip out your Pashmina and dramatically drape it over your eyes. That’ll show her.
8. The Environmentalist
Reusable, recyclable, classic. A paper bag will do the trick. Might be hard to eat under that cover, but you’ll make do.